


What is and what should never be

by ArcticSwan



Series: Years of marriage. [12]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Hurt, Injury, Not a Death-fic, Paralysis, Permanent Injury, Wheelchairs, Whump, h/c, life changing moment, paraplegic, spinal cord injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticSwan/pseuds/ArcticSwan
Summary: Disaster strikes while Bravo team is on deployment, and the life of the Carter family is changed forever.What is life going to look like from now on? Will everything change, or just parts? Can they still live their 'happily ever after'?
Relationships: Scott Carter (SEAL Team TV)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Years of marriage. [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136093
Comments: 62
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this is kinda a related, but still not related fic to this series. I do place Metal, Nora, their family and the rest of Bravo in a pretty sucky situation. And I want this to happen with the character dynamics I’ve already set up in that little AU-ish universe, but at the same time I don’t want this to happen in that universe.  
> Think of this as a crazy fever dream or angsty nightmare. Did it happen, did it not happen? Who knows?  
> There WILL BE inconsistencies with other installments of this series.

> _"And if you say to me tomorrow  
>  Oh what fun it all would be  
> Then what's to stop us, pretty baby  
> But what is and what should never be"_

* * *

“We’re going down!” there was slight panic in the pilot’s voice as he tried to force the helicopter out of the sickening spin it was in.

It wasn’t a spin like when the tail rotor is blown. No, this was a whole rollercoaster with no safety features.

They all grabbed onto whatever they could and hoped that the impact would either kill them all instantly, or not hurt too bad.

Sparks rained from where the RPG had hit, as the helicopter quickly lost altitude.

123123123

He did a quick onceover of the guys who had remained inside the helicopter after the crash, and helped Brock outside since he couldn’t put weight on his right leg.

Then he had to find Metal, or Nora would kill him. He was pretty sure of it. He did not want to end up on her bad side. She was one of the three people he actually really feared. Weirdly enough, all three of them were women.

Before he started searching for Metal, he ordered Trent to search for his medic bag, which somehow had escaped them.

123123123

He found Metal soon enough, threw himself to his knees beside him and was about to start his assessment when Metal sternly said ‘ _don’t touch me’_.

“What?”

“Don’t touch me.” Metal repeated, not as stern and with a lot more fragile undertone.

“…Okay?” Trent frowned and scanned Metal’s body for injuries, “How does your leg feel? It looks like it could be painful…”

“Can’t.” Metal swallowed hard, “I can’t feel it. Can’t feel anything from about elbow height and down… Everything above that hurts some, and my back _really_ hurts.”

“You thinking…”

“I think I’m paralyzed. Would make sense, right?” Metal closed his eyes, a preventative measure in hopes that he wouldn’t end up crying,

“Is it your _back,_ or your _neck_?”

“Back.” Metal answered, “But I don’t think moving my neck is a good idea yet either. I don’t trust it.”

“I agree.” Trent nodded, and held up a hand to stop Sonny as he was getting closer, “Call in that we need medevac, possible spinal injury.”

“What? Huh?” Sonny blinked a few times, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Wish we were…” Trent shook his head, “It’s most likely chest level, tell them we’d like someone who has experience with this, if that’s possible.”

Sonny nodded, “Chest level, spinal cord, someone who knows their shit.”

“Yup.”

“On it.” Sonny nodded and turned around to find a way to call it all in.

“I’m just going to touch your wrist a little, is that okay?”

“Yeah. It is.” Metal blinked, “Thanks for telling me, I don’t want to move my neck instinctively to check if it’s your hand against my wrist or anything I should potentially worry about.

Trent nodded.

“I’d like to get a collar on you… But Clay is still searching for my bag, and the pilot is trying to see if he can save any supplies from the helicopter.” What he didn’t say was that he hoped someone else could put the collar on if they found it, he knew even the smallest movement could cause a lot of permanent damage in these cases, and since they didn’t know about Metal’s neck, he was nervous. “For now, best course of action is for you to lay as still as possible.”

“Yeah, figured.” Metal rolled his eyes a little.

“I hope there’s someone available, who has experience.”

“The damage is probably already done…” Metal winced, “If we get someone who knows their way around an injury like this, it’s not going to help much…”

“You said it yourself, you don’t trust your neck either…” Trent reminded him, “If we can get someone who’s been hands-on for a similar injury, I’m all for it. Because the closest thing I have experience from is simulations.”

“Would’ve been nice if this was a simulation…”

“Well, it’s not.” Trent grimaced, “Are you in any pain? Except for your back?”

“Might have bounced my head a bit. Think I was out for a few seconds, I remember waking up.”

“So, probably a concussion to go along with it all?”

“Yeah, but I don’t have a headache… Yet.”

“Oh, I hate those that make you believe everything is A-OK, and then the next day you can’t stand light, sounds or anything…”

Metal hummed an agreeing tone.

“This is so fucked up…” Metal sighed.

Trent nodded.

“Hadn’t I strapped in? Why am I laying on the ground outside?”

“You were strapped in…” Trent reassured, “But it looks like something hit your line. It’s ripped off.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Trent nodded and silently watched as the first tear rolled from the outer edge of Metal’s eye, trailing down to his hairline.

“Fuck… Nora’s going to be pissed.”

Trent couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of what Metal’s brain decided to focus on. “Hey, I don’t think she’ll be pissed… She’ll be concerned, scared, feel sorry for you, and for herself and the kids… She will not be pissed.”

“You sure?”

“Come on, it’s Nora…” Trent scoffed, “We all know she’d take you in any condition she can have you. And whatever this injury means, it sure beats the alternative for her.”

“I hope so…”

“I know so…” Trent said, gently placing a hand against Metal’s shoulder.

“…I think I’m gonna have a big bruise right about where your hand is…” Metal frowned and tried to glance towards where Trent’s hand was, without moving his head.

“Sorry.”

“No problem…” Metal forced a smile as Trent removed his hand from his shoulder, “We’re going to find a way through this as well… Even if it means breaching a wall…”

Trent chuckled a little, “Yeah.”

“What’s going on with my leg?”

“Huh?”

“You mentioned it earlier…” Metal swallowed, “Said it looked painful or something…?”

“It’s just…” Trent shrugged and glanced over, “Doesn’t look like the most comfortable position, that’s all.”

“Bullshit.”

“I think you broke it.”

“Think I broke it, like…”

“Or dislocated it…” Trent shrugged, “I should really take a better look at it. I also want to _gently_ touch your neck.”

“Yeah, you probably got some assessment stuff you’re supposed to run through…”

“Yeah, kinda.” Trent nodded, “I’ve run through some of the points already… But I want to go hands on now.”

“Trent, don’t tell anyone, but… I’m scared.”

“I would say you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t scared right now.” Trent scoffed, “For the record, I’m scared as well, and I’m not the injured one.”

“Thank you…”

Trent nodded and moved up above Metal’s head, “Alright, I’m going to be super gentle, I’m not going to move your head or neck right now, I’m just going to feel for swelling against your spine. You tell me if it hurts extra…”

“Yeah, okay…” Metal grimaced and took calming breath.

“How’s this?”

“It’s fine…”

“Not sore or painful or anything?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s kinda a relief.” Trent winked, “I couldn’t feel any swollen spots either, so… We’ll take that as a good sign.”

“I guess.”

Trent nodded, “It actually looks like your helmet is rested pretty nicely against the ground. For now, I’ll just keep it like that.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to grab a hold of your right hand now… Squeeze mine for me, alright?”

“Like, as hard as I can?”

“Or as hard as you’re comfortable with… But stop if I scream alright?”

“Don’t make me laugh…” Metal almost scowled at Trent.

“Alright, yeah… Sorry.” Trent frowned before Metal started squeezing, “Alright, yeah. That seems good. I’m going to go around you now, and we’re going to do the same thing with your left.”

“Okay.”

123123123

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Brock asked as Sonny came back, his face a shade or three whiter than it usually was, “He’s alive? Right?”

“He’s alive.” Sonny nodded, “Probably broke his back though.”

“No…” Brock’s jaw went slack, “Are you for real?”

Sonny nodded, “Trent said it probably was at chest level… I don’t know…”

“Shit…”

Sonny nodded, “How’s your leg by the way?”

“Compared to that?” Brock almost scoffed, “I won’t be putting weight on it for a few weeks, I think… But it’s really nothing to worry about.”

“Broken?”

“Feels like it.” Brock shrugged, “But… I’d rather have a broken leg than what Metal is dealing with.”

Sonny nodded, “Yeah, me too…”

“Anything I can help with?”

“…No…” Sonny shook his head, “Don’t think so…”

“Let me know if you think of something, alright?”

Sonny nodded as he started to go through what he was about to call in.

123123123

It didn’t take that long before Trent had checked over the parts he could check without assistance.

He had checked for signs of internal bleeding, he had checked the extremities Metal couldn’t feel anymore for injuries, finding a pipe of bone protruding ever so slightly from Metal’s right shin when he cut open the pant leg, but the pulse at his foot was strong and steady.

He hadn’t really checked Metal’s pelvis, mostly because Metal couldn’t tell if it hurt or not, and he didn’t want to around and possibly jostle an unstable pelvis fracture, because those things knew how to bleed.

“Alright, so… Your leg is broken. We’re just going to leave it as is until Clay or someone else comes back with by gear.”

“Okay, good thing I can’t feel it…” Metal answered dryly.

Trent nodded a bit.

“I’m also pretty sure your neck is okay, but I still want to put that collar on you.”

“Okay, good.”

“How are you feeling?”

Metal sighed, “My body or my mind?”

“A little bit of both…” Trent shrugged, “But you can tell me if it’s hard or easy to breathe.”

“Easy. I just can’t take deep breaths.”

“Can’t?”

“I took one, it made my back hurt that much worse.”

“Okay…” Trent nodded, “But it didn’t hurt anywhere else?”

“Not that I noticed.” Metal closed his eyes again, “Man, this hurts… You think I could get something strong for the pain?”

“Look, I’d love to knock you out with morphine right now… But one, still don’t have my bag, and two; I think I read somewhere that spinal cord patients might still be able to subconsciously stabilize the site of the injury a bit, at least from above the injury. And that they won’t be able to do that if they are unconscious due to medication…”

“I’m not talking about sending me to lala-land…” Metal gritted his teeth a bit, “I’m talking, take the damn edge off…”

“Yeah, I know…” Trent frowned, “But same thing kinda goes there… You might forget you’re in pain and forget not to move…”

“Okay…” Metal sighed, “This sucks. On so many levels.”

“Couldn’t agree more…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so a Trent-centric chapter...

The medevac got there quicker than he had expected, even before Clay had managed to find his bag. The crew they sent was younger than what he had been comfortable with, but they seemed capable enough. Age and skill wasn’t always linked.

He was grateful that Clay hadn’t managed to find his medic bag, or that the pilot hadn’t managed to pull any useful gear out of the downed helicopter. He was confident about his abilities as a medic, but this was one time he was glad all he could do was to keep his brother comfortable and still until more help came. 

123123123

A collar had been placed around Metal’s neck as a precaution, it didn't delay them much and Metal was deemed stabile enough that a few minutes more wouldn't issue a problem. They also stabilized his other injuries.

When it was time to log-roll him over to the stretcher one from the crew took time to gently feel along his spine to check for abnormalities. Metal had hissed as the guy’s hand got to the part around his lower ribs.

The guy had apologized for causing Metal more pain than he already was in, then he had shared his findings with the rest of the crew, telling them that there was noticeable swelling over his spine. Accompanied by the paralysis and loss of sensation in his lower half, and the tenderness over that point of his spine, it suggested that Metal had suffered a fractured vertebrae and damage to his spinal cord.

123123123

The whole deal made him feel like he was new in the game again. Back when he had become a medic, it often happened that he struggled to place things into a time frame after providing first aid. It felt similar to the day after being blackout drunk. You knew something had happened, but you weren’t entirely sure what. You had glimpses of clarity, and then nothing.

He knew things had been done to stabilize Metal as best as possible, he knew he had been a part of it, but he didn’t remember exactly what he’d done.

He couldn’t remember the last time it had happened, he knew it had been a good while. But this, this definitely was one of the times he struggled.

Deep down he knew it was some kind of reflex, some way his brain tried to protect him. He knew that the memories from this day, were ones he didn’t want to remember. It was easily one of his top-10 worst days so far, and he had many to pick from already in his life. What happened today was stuff he didn’t want to be reminded of out of the blue. He didn’t want the sudden feeling of being back in the helicopter as it was going down, he didn’t want to be back when he realized his best friend wasn’t in the helicopter with the rest of them, he didn’t want to experience finding his best friend on the ground, terrified of anyone jostling him. He didn’t want the glimpses of all of this crossing his mind’s eye, like stuff like this often did.

He wanted to erase this entire day, but he knew it would haunt him for some time to come

**123123123**

The surgery had gone as well as it could. Trent knew that.   
He also knew that his best friend would never walk again.

He’d been in the room when the doctor had explained the injury to Metal. Metal had wanted him there. He felt kinda shell shocked by the information. He couldn’t make his way through the explanation from one end to the other. His brain had only latched onto single words and parts of sentences.

_T7._

_Complete lesion._

_No sensory function._

_No motor function._

_Permanent._

_Wheelchair._

The dread he felt because of it all was almost intolerable. And it wasn’t even _his_ injury. _He_ wasn’t the one who’d never would feel anything from his waist down. _He_ wasn’t the one who’d never dance with his wife again. _He_ wasn’t the one who’d never run around and play with his kids again. It wasn’t _him_ , he only wished it hadn’t been Metal either.

123123123

The surgery had gone well, but Metal had still ended up a little confused for a few days after it. Not entirely making sense of the world, or why he was in a hospital bed, or why his back hurt, and so on.

Some nurse had explained to them that it was probably a passing reaction to the trauma, the concussion he had sustained, the meds from the surgery and the stress of it all. The CAT scan had been clear. Trent didn’t have any problems believing that.

He had talked with Nora. She had called him soon after she got the news. They had ended up talking for hours, both crying more than a fair share. Both agreeing that it probably was best to postpone a video call between Nora and Metal until he had an easier time keeping track of everything.

123123123

He. Sonny and Clay had sat with Metal in rotating ‘shifts’. The doctors and nurses had appreciated it, because the familiar presence kept Metal calm, even when the world around him was too hard to keep track of.

Metal had switched between sleeping peacefully, probably helped a lot by the pain meds finally coursing through his system. Being pouty and moody, which he had every damn right to be. -And trying to chat about other things to keep his brain away from the graveness of his situation.

The last one hadn’t worked nearly as well as he had hoped. The general confusion he suffered from after the surgery was accompanied by a difficulty of finding the right words, and pronouncing them the correctly. In the end, it caused more frustration than comfort.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey… How are you feeling?” Trent asked as he entered the room Metal was staying in for his time there.

“The world officially sucks.” Metal sighed, “Almost everything down to _here_ hurts… But my brain feels a bit more cooperative today, and Sonny says I’m making more sense now.”

“Yeah….” Trent grinned, “I can hear that.”

“Was I really that bad?”

“To quote you; _I feel washing machine…_ ” Trent chuckled, “I still have no clue what you meant by that…”

“Yeah, me neither…” Metal frowned, “I really said that?”

“Oh, that and sooo many other glorious highlights.” Sonny nodded, “My personal favorite must be… When you wanted a coffee, or whatever the heck _caffa_ could be… And the nurse wouldn’t let you get any because you’re laying flat, or something like that. You called her a refrigerator.”

“No…” Metal frowned, “I hope I didn’t do that… You’re kidding, right?”

Sonny shook his head, “No… And there was lots of other non-household appliances word switcharoos as well. I think you tried to tell Clay he was a lighthouse.”

“Man, that’s so… Uncool of me…” Metal craned his neck, like he was focusing on the headboard, “I should say sorry for that. No matter what refrigerator was a replacement word for…”

“I don’t think you have to…” Sonny chuckled, “She got a good laugh out of it, and started apologizing as she tried to explain why you couldn’t have any coffee yet.”

Metal grunted a little, “I assume I’m not allowed to have any dip yet either.”

“Nope, you’re not.” Trent shook his head, “But what amazes me is that this is the first time in a few days I’ve heard you think about that.” 

Sonny nodded in agreement, “Yeah. That’s almost hard to believe.”

Metal nodded a bit, “Yeah… Almost.”

“Also you’re getting IV-nutrition for now. It’s a precaution, apparently spinal cord injuries can cause the muscles in your bowels to quit for a bit and that can cause some issues.”

“Bro, not the thing I want to hear about now…” Metal shook his head, “-Or ever…”

Sonny chuckled a bit, “Well, sorry to tell ya, but… It’s definitely something you need to hear.”

Metal scowled over at the Texan, then calmly flipped him off.

“So… Since you’re obviously more coherent….” Trent shrugged, “I suggest Sonny runs over to sleeping quarters and gets your iPad. I’m sure there’s a pretty lady home in Virginia who’s been missing your ugly mug….”

“Have you talked to her?” _Is she prepared?_

“Yeah…” Trent nodded, “We’ve talked a lot the last couple of days. I’ve been giving her updates on how you’re doing… I haven’t told most of the weird things you’ve said, I just told her that you jumbled your words a bit, and had a problem pronouncing a few.”

“Thank you.”

“She can’t wait to have you back home. She worries a lot.”

Metal nodded a bit, then let his head fall back once more, “Damn, not again…”

“What?

“Tears.” Metal frowned, “I hate crying. I’ve done it way too much lately.”

“-I think you have every right to cry…” Sonny shrugged, “I’d probably be bawling my eyes out.”

“No, I hate it because it gives me a headache, and right now it gives me more of a headache than I already have.” Metal groaned.

“Alright, fair.” Sonny nodded, “Imma head out and get your iPad. Anything else you need? Dip is off limits.”

Metal chuckled a little as he wiped at his eyes, “My phone? A headset? Charger?”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a few.”

123123123

He hated how weak he felt, how helpless, how… USELESS.

He couldn’t even sit up in his bed for more than short stretches at the time, because the pain got too bad.

Life was changed. He knew that. Every fiber of his being knew that.

Since his head had gotten clearer, his mind had constantly been bombarded by questions he didn’t know how to deal with.

_Who was he going to be now?_

_Would Nora still love him? Stick it out with him?_

_Would the kids still… Like him?  
Think that their dad was at least semi-cool?  
At least not the greatest dork to ever live?_

_Was he going to get by mostly on his own?  
-Or would he have to rely on other people for basically everything?_

_Would he be able to have a good life? Whatever the hell that was in a wheelchair…_

_Would he be able to stay active? Were there active wheelchair users outside Paralympics? He ought to know. But, honestly, he had no clue._

_How was a life in a wheelchair? He really knew nothing about it, once he got to thinking. How many misconceptions did he have, how much was there he’d never even considered as a potential problem that would from now on absolutely rule his life?_

_Was he still going to be him?_

_Was he going to become some guy he’d barely recognize in the mirror?_

_Was he going to be able to work? Of course not as an operator, but in some way? An office job or something? The mere thought of him behind a desk scared him almost as much as the prospect of being chained to a chair for the rest of his life._

_Would he stay in the Navy? Was that even possible?_

_Was he going to keep his friends on bravo, or would he drift away from them like he had seen many others do after serious injuries?_

_Was he going to be enough?_

_Would it be better just to give up?_

He forced himself out of his thoughts and focused on the lone fly that was crawling across one of the tiles of the ceiling. Best thing for now was probably to empty his mind as much as possible.

123123123

She had sent the kids to stay with her parents for a few days. This was one of the rare instances she didn’t know how to handle everything. She thought that was something she’d left behind, something which just didn’t happen anymore.

A bit over two decades with the infamous Full Metal, and she thought she was bulletproof, metaphorically speaking.

But the last few days had really messed with her. Proved to her that the feeling of being bulletproof was just that, a feeling. She had never even imagined feeling as helpless as she felt now.

She honestly didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to get back up, or keep pushing forward now.

It felt like their entire world was falling apart.

At least they would still have each other. For better, for worse. In sickness and in health.

She rubbed her hands over her face to calm herself and to wipe away some of the many tears she had cried lately, before she clicked the link she had received from Scott, -or Trent.

123123123

“Hey beautiful…”

That was it. She was lost. Every chance at a brave appearance crumbled at that exact moment.

“Hey now…” he sighed, “Please don’t cry… I’ll start crying…”

She sniffled hard and wiped her eyes once more, with a quivering voice, right at the breaking point, she replied, “You scared me…”

He nodded, “I’m sorry, babe…”

“No…” she shook her head, “No… Trent told me. Definitely not your fault, so you have nothing to apologize for. It’s just… Shitty luck.”

“Yeah.” He nodded a little.

She nodded.

“-I miss you.”

“I miss you too…” she winked, “The kids do too… -I haven’t told them yet. I’m the worst mom ever.”

“No.” Metal shook his head, “You don’t get to talk about my wife that way. No one gets to do that.”

“Not even your wife?”

“Not even you.” He nodded, “So… Want to tell me why you haven’t told the kids yet?”

She shrugged, “I just… I can’t. I don’t know how to…”

“-We could tell them together… -In a call like this.” he offered, “Because at least Jenny would not react well to not being told before I’m almost home.”

Nora nodded, “Yeah, she’s basically navy-you in a girl’s body.”

Metal grimaced slightly, “Yeah… And I think I might be to blame.”

She shook her head, “No… She’s our girl. She’s doing great. I do feel sorry for the boy who might try to win her heart though…”

Metal chuckled carefully, “Yeah… For multiple reasons.”

Nora chuckled, then sighed, “How are you? Are you in a lot of pain? Where’s your head at?”

He shook his head, “Nah… I’m in pain, I’ll admit that… But it’s fine, it’s not too much.”

“You know I can see that you’re lying…”

He sighed, “Alright, it hurts. A lot. And I… I don’t know how to… Will you still love me?”

She almost couldn’t form her answer. Of course, of course she would love him. It was impossible for her not to. Her brain went on a rambling trip as it tried to list all the little things she loved about him and couldn’t live without, then she sensed that she had been silent for a bit too long.

“Scott…” she offered up the most reassuring smile she could muster, “I never fell in love with your ability to walk, or do go on crazy missions I am most comfortable knowing as little as possible about… I fell in love with _you._ And you’ll still be the man I love until we’re both just memories our kids carry with them.”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing in this world could change that.” She winked, “But something tells me there’s a lot of things we will have to figure out about this new kind of life we’re going to share…”

He almost chuckled, “Yeeeah… There’ll probably be put down an incomparable amount of brainpower to figure out the basics now at first.”

Nora nodded, “Good thing you don’t know how to quit then…”

He nodded a bit, but his expression was not convinced. Then a few seconds later, he sighed, “I don’t know about this time…”

“Well, good thing I do…” she shrugged, “You’ll get to the point in the rehab process where you’re not in the kind of pain you’re in at the moment, and then you’ll get hooked on the progress. Just like with all the smaller injuries you’ve had before.”

He didn’t answer.

“Now, the end goal will be different. You’re not training to get back to alpha, or bravo… You’re doing it because you want to have a good life, where you can do as many fun things as possible.” Nora shrugged, “You’ll do it because you love to prove people wrong, and because you’re the most stubborn guy I know.”

“I’m not that stubborn…”

“You are.” Nora chuckled, “You’re incredibly stubborn.”

He smirked a bit.

“And I think I just figured out the biggest motivation you have…”

“Yeah?”

“Since when have you allowed yourself to set anything but the best example for our kids?”

He chuckled a bit, then groaned as his injury flared up.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright babe…” he answered, his eyes still squeezed shut, “It’s alright.”

She waited for him to relax again.

He took a calming breath, then flashed a smile, “Guess you might be right after all...”

“See… Told you so…” she grinned back.

“But my best might be a lot less than it used to be…”

“Who cares? It’ll still be the best you’re able to…” Nora shrugged, “I think that’s the important part.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.” She nodded.

He smiled a bit.

She smiled in return.

“Hey, wanna hear something stupid?” he shook his head after a while.

“Sure.”

“I’m restless….”

She chuckled and rubbed her hands against her face before she focused back on him with an amused smile, “Was that supposed to shock me?”

“-More to make you laugh for a second…” he admitted, “Totally worked, by the way.”

She nodded, “It did…”

123123123

She noticed that he was starting to struggle to keep up after a while. She guessed his head was getting tired, staring at the screen probably didn’t help much.

Trent had mentioned how bad he’d been the last few days, and she didn’t want him to tire himself out entirely. But then the selfish part of her wanted to stay online with him for at least another couple of hours.

“I think we better hang up soon…” she shrugged, “Pick back up tomorrow…”

He sighed, “Yeah… Probably a good idea. But I don’t want to…”

She nodded, “I know… I want to say and talk with you as well… But you look like you’re struggling to focus.”

“Yeah…” he admitted, “A little…”

“And it’s petty late over there as well…”

“Not that late…”

“No, okay, but you ought to rest…”

He nodded, “I guess.”

“So, I’m going to hang up soon… Then you’re going to get some sleep, and I’m going to ask Derek to help me fix a few things around the house, and then… I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m awake, alright?”

“You’re going to ask Derek to help you fix a few things around the house?”

“Yeah, he’s one of your best buddies, and pretty handy as well.” Nora shrugged, “I figure we might need a ramp outside and a few other things… Plus, I can pay him in beer.”

Metal chuckled, then cussed under his breath.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you laugh…”

“No, it’s fine…” Metal grinned through a grimace, “You have SOLID reasoning, by the way.”

“Yeah, I thought so…” she grinned.

“But, it’s not a thing that has to be done _now…_ ” he shrugged, “From what I’ve heard, it looks like I’ll stay at this hospital thing for a while after I get back home.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right…” Nora nodded, “But, we know we’re going to need the ramp… So might as well get it up straight away.”

He nodded a bit, “Yeah… You’ve got a point.”

She nodded.

“And you’re right… I am tired…” he sighed.

“Yeah, I know you well enough to know when you’re exhausted.” She winked, “I love you… And I always will, don’t forget that.”

“Love you too…” he smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight time-jump here...

Telling the kids had gone just fine. But actually meeting them for the first time since his injury was scary as all hell. Meeting Nora too, it was a bit scary.

He had gotten to the point where he could sit in the wheelchair he borrowed pretty comfortably for about half an hour, before he had to lay back down and rest his back for a bit.

So he had made Nora call him when they had parked, that way he could possibly get a few of the nurses to help him over to the wheelchair. It was weird, but he felt he looked stronger in a wheelchair, than laying in his bed.

Before, he never would have offered a thought to how his family perceived him. They had all seen him in various degrees of ‘ _not-up-to-it’_ , but right now he needed to feel stronger, he needed them to think he was stronger than he was at the moment.

She called, the nurses helped him over in the wheelchair and rolled him into one of the small living room areas.

123123123

He studied his right leg on the elevated footrest in front of him. That break had been set surgically, and was now protected by nothing less than a walking boot. What a cruel joke.

He tried wiggling his toes, his favorite pastime for the time being, but it was just as effective as trying to force a basketball through a keyhole. No matter how hard he tried, nothing moved.

He let go of a heavy sigh. How was he reduced to this? He’d always been at the top of his game, always been fit, always been active. How in hell was it fair for the world to just decide that he’d never use his legs ever again?

He wanted to scream. Wanted to yell. Wanted to punch something.  
But he couldn’t.

He needed it though. A good 45 minutes with a sandbag could do the trick, but he didn’t see how it would work. Sit down and just punch it? He couldn’t do any neat footwork to really propel his punches, he couldn’t even transfer his weight through his hips for that. But he wanted to, and needed to, wear himself completely out while punching that bag.

And where would he find a boxing bag? It wasn’t like the rehab facility he was in had one or did it?

123123123

He looked up when someone knocked at the door frame. It was her. He felt his eyes watering. He had so much to say, yet he was completely speechless.

She didn’t say anything either, before she walked over, knelt down and gave him a gentle hug before finding his lips with hers.

Without a word, she let her thumbs wipe away his tears, before she wiped away her own with the back of her left hand.

“Missed you.” He choked out.

“Missed you too…” she winked before adding another kiss.

He urged her closer, it wasn’t like he could actually _pull_ her closer without causing himself more pain at the moment.

“I have a question, before I let the kids see you…”

He nodded.

“Are you up for hard hugs?”

“I’m certainly up for harder ones than the one you gave…” he smiled a bit, “-But not Lila’s tackle hugs.”

Nora nodded, “Okay… We talked a lot about this on the way over… I tried to prepare them as best as I could… They’ve been waiting to see you all day.”

He nodded a bit, “Thank you.”

She was about to get up to bring the kids in with her when he grabbed a hold of her hand, “Hey…. One more kiss first?”

She smiled a bit, before going back down for a proper, hungry, kiss.

123123123

Jenny was the first one to come around the corner. It didn’t surprise him, she was the seemingly fearless one of the five, the one who looked at fear and laughed at it. Usually. By her red-rimmed eyes and her puffy face it was obvious that she’d been crying not too long ago. She tentatively walked closer, almost like she was afraid of him.

It damn near broke his heart to see her like this. His tough girl who didn’t let anything slow her down. But then again, he’d been crying a lot lately too. The last thing he could do was judge.

“-Mom said we could hug you…?” her voice was shaking, another thing to _never_ happen to her.

“Yeah, bring it on in…” he winked and waved her closer.

“Won’t it hurt you?”

He shrugged a little, “We could start gentle, and I can tap out when it starts getting painful?”

“Yeah?”

“Of course….” He nodded.

It was obvious that she felt a little awkward as she bowed down to hug him. The chair was in the way, she didn’t want to put any weight on him, which he in turn was grateful for.

“…This feels weird…” she admitted after a few seconds.

“A bit.” He agreed, “Mom knelt down beside the chair… I think that was easier for both of us.”

She tried that and he could feel her shoulders relax against him.

“Much better…” she sniffled and squeezed a little bit tighter, “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, Jen…” he had to swallow to keep his voice from cracking, just as his other kids braved entering the room.

The simple hug ended up being a massive group hug with him in the middle. He didn’t mind, he had missed his family so much since he got injured, and had waited to see and hug them again.

“How’s your leg dad?” Aimee asked, glancing over at the boot sticking out of the sweatpants he was wearing.

“He can’t feel it, Aimee.” Chris shot in quietly.

“That’s right…” he nodded as the kids started to move back from the hug once again.

“But… You have that thing on…” Aimee shrugged pointing at the boot.

“Yeah. Because it is injured.” He shrugged a little, “But because of how my back is injured, I can’t feel my legs, and I can’t feel that the break I have in my right leg hurts.”

“…You can’t feel it?”

“Aimee, mom explained this like twenty times earlier…” Lila grimaced slightly.

“No… No, that’s fine…” Metal shook his head, “It’s hard to understand, especially when you’re six years old.”

“Why can’t you feel it?”

“Okay, we’re going to have a little anatomy class here….” Metal chuckled lightly, “In everyone’s back, there’s this thing called a spine. That’s the boney parts that keep us upright…”

Aimee nodded.

“Inside the spine, there’s a tunnel where something called the spinal cord goes. It’s kinda like a big cord of wires linking everything together. Like when you helped me fix that fried wire in mom’s car a few months ago, do you remember that?”

“When I gave you the tape?”

“Yeah, when you were handing me the tape and tools.” He nodded, “So, imagine it’s a cord with a lot of small wires inside, that sends signals to say… your legs, or your arms.”

She nodded again.

“The spine, the boney parts, can break. And then the break can act like wire cutters for the spinal cord. But the difference between the spinal cord and the wires in mom’s car you helped me fix, is that you can’t twist the spinal cord back together and tape it.”

“Oh…” Aimee nodded a bit, “So… You’re not getting better?”

“No, I’m going to get better.” He offered up a small smile, Trent had pointed that out to him quite a few times already. There was a difference between not getting better and not getting his feeling or mobility back, “I’m just not going to be able to use or feel my legs.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

123123123

“I think we should go now…” Nora said after a while, “I think dad might be getting tired.”

“But it’s the middle of the day!” Lila pouted.

“No, you can stay…” he shrugged a little before he tried to relieve some of the pressure on his back by lifting himself up from the seat, “But I need to lay down for a bit, could any of you go find one of the nurses and tell them I need help getting back into bed?”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” Eva nodded.

123123123

Once he actually was back in bed, it wasn’t all that scary having his family see him like that. Plus, it was more comfortable.

They stayed for a few more hours before they had to get back home, and for the first time, he actually felt that at least one thing wouldn’t change with his accident. He knew his family would still love him just as much as they always had.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was really hesitant about posting this chapter. But... Here we go.

“Hey Scott…” a nurse smiled as she entered his room, “Good morning.”

It wasn’t a good morning. It was a shitty day. Everything was shitty. Life had gone to HELL in a hurry. He hated everything about this new life. It sucked. He didn’t feel like going through the motions of life today. He felt inches away from crying already.

“…Hello?”

“Hey…” he answered unenthusiastically.

The nurse tilted her head and studied him for a second, “Alright… I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re not having a good day.”

He scoffed, “How could I?”

She shrugged and pulled a chair over to his bed, “I saw that you had your family over yesterday…”

He couldn’t help but flash a small grin, “Yeah.”

“That was nice, right? Bet you missed them while on deployment.”

“Yeah. Always do.” He nodded, he didn’t feel as hostile as he had five seconds ago. Still felt about as close to crying as he had been, though.

“They looked happy to see you as well.” She smiled a little.

He shrugged a little, “Got some of the best hugs I can remember yesterday.”

The nurse grinned.

“I’m sorry. I’m just in a crappy state of mind today…” he sighed.

“Well, that’s understandable. But, what can I do to help?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know… I just keep feeling like my life is over. I hate it.”

“So, you’re breathing and talking… I think it’s safe to say your life is not over…” the nurse smirked a little.

“Not what I meant…”

“I know… But I’m sticking to what I said.” She shrugged, “Your life is changed. It’s not over.”

“Well, I’m useless. Think that’s pretty close to my life being over.”

“You’ll probably hate me a bit now, but… That feeling is temporary, you’ll see.”

He scoffed, “I’m not going to be able to be a dad, like this. I’m not going to be able to be a husband like this. I’m not going to be able to do my damn job like this…”

The nurse stared at him for five long seconds, her expression had gone from optimistic to something colder, almost expressionless, “Trust me, your kids and your wife are probably just glad you’re still around at this point. Give it a few months and you’ll change your mind about that dad and husband stuff.”

“How would you know?” he almost laughed, even though there was no humor in his voice.

“Trust me, I know.” The nurse sighed, “First, because I’ve seen it time and time again while working here. Second, because I _know._ ”

Metal shrugged a little, “Why?”

“I’m going to tell you a little story about how I ended up here. The short version, anyway.”

“Okay…”

“When I was a kid, my dad had an accident. Broke his columna at C3, suffered a complete spinal cord lesion. He was kept alive by machines for a couple of days before my mom had to decide that he should be taken off life support. There was no brain function on the EEGs, he was brain dead already. The machines were just breathing for him, keeping his body alive.” The nurse looked down, “I know… I know I would have preferred to have my dad, alive in a wheelchair. Let’s say he got a C6 injury instead, he probably would have survived that. He’d have some movement in his arms, probably would have been able to feed himself with accommodations, do some other stuff as long as things were set up for him already. That’s a lot less independency than you will have once you get a few weeks down the road. Hell, it’s even less independency than you have right now… I’d still want to have my dad like that. Okay?”

Metal looked over at her, studying her, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s in the past.” She shrugged, “I miss him, but it’s been over 20 years now, and… I can easily talk about it.”

He nodded, he recognized the feeling. It was the way he still thought of some of his fallen brothers from time to time.

“I know you need help with way more than you’re comfortable with right now. And I know that the way you will live your life from now on has been changed a lot from how it was before you got injured. But, you’re going to get better at all these things, and you’re going to get more independent.” She smiled a little, “I’d be willing to bet that in less than three more months, you’d be able to live on your own. I’m not saying you’ll be done learning in that time, because that is unrealistic, but you’ll be at the point where you don’t have to depend on anyone else.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “And you’ll find new ways of being a great dad and a great husband.”

“How?”

She shrugged a little, “What do you usually do together with your kids?”

Metal shrugged a little, “Depends on which kid you’re talking about… Oldest one, we usually go see movies together at the drive-in. Last time was the first time she drove us there.”

“Well, there you already have an activity you don’t have to change…”

“I guess…”

“-And the others?”

“The three middle ones are sport-heads.” He chuckled a bit, “I used to play sports with them, and help them train martial arts. I make all my kids do that…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to let my daughters grow up without a fair chance at defending themselves.” Metal shrugged, “And we couldn’t exactly let our only boy be the only one to not take classes.”

The nurse nodded. “Well… Once you feel comfortable wheeling around and have better control of your wheelchair, you could give adaptive sports a try. Some sports you can easily play along with others who aren’t in a wheelchair. Others are a bit more difficult.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “But I’m not the expert here. What I do think would be best for you, for inspiration purposes, is to talk with the patients who’s in here for routine stays and checkups. They know a lot more about how to adapt than what I do…”

Metal nodded a bit, “Probably a smart thing to do…”

The nurse nodded, “-But, you can’t do that from this bed… So… What do you say we figure out what kind of clothes you want to wear, and get you out in the community for a while today…”

Metal laughed a bit, “Alright… And hey, if you ever get tired of nursing, you should try to become a negotiator. Middle east could need you.”

She chuckled a little as well, “Nah, I think I belong right here.”

“Yeah, maybe you do…” Metal nodded, “Thank you, by the way. I probably needed that reality check.”

She shrugged, “Hope I didn’t overshare too much…”

“No, I think hearing it from that side was just what I needed right now.” Metal shrugged, “My kids wouldn’t like losing me. Nora wouldn’t either.”

The nurse nodded, then glanced towards the closet, “So, what do you want me to pick out for you to wear today?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, visit from hurt Brock. Because I know you guys love him.

“You’ve got a visitor, if you feel up for it.”

“Yeah, sure. Who is it?”

The nurse pulled a quick grimace, “He told me, but I forgot his name on the way over here… Black hair, curls, currently using crutches.”

“Probably Brock.”

“Yeah! That’s it!” the nurse snapped her fingers, “Do you feel okay with a visitor?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“…Do you want to stay in bed, or do you want us to help you over in a chair?”

“Nah, I can stay here for now.” He shrugged patting the mattress, “I was up not too long ago, and my back is still burning pretty good.”

“Okay, I’ll just lead him over then…”

“Great.”

123123123

Brock hobbled inside his room, and sat down in the recliner-like chair in the corner of the room.

“Hey, how have you been?” he offered up a warm smile.

“Do you really want the honest answer?” Metal almost scoffed.

“Yeah.” Brock nodded, “I mean, I suppose ‘fine’ doesn’t cover any of it.”

“No, it really doesn’t.” he admitted, “Or, I had my family over yesterday. That was awesome, I’ve missed them a lot, and was scared of how the kids would react. But it went a lot better than I would’ve guessed.”

“That’s great.”

Metal nodded again, “Other than that… I’m in a lot of pain, a lot of the time. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that I’m paralyzed now, and that I’ll always be paralyzed.”

Brock nodded.

“-And the future scares the crap outta me right now. I mean, I’ve got five kids, how am I supposed to be a good father like _this?_ ”

Brock waited a couple of seconds before he started speaking, “I’m hoping that last part was a rhetorical question, because only kind of parent I am, is a dog parent….”

Metal chuckled a bit, “Yeah, it was mostly rhetorical. I don’t expect you to solve all of the world’s problems, not all of mine either.”

“Would’ve been nice if I could.”

Metal nodded a bit, “Yeah, not gonna argue that. But, I guess all in all, things could be worse too. So, you? How’s your leg?”

“Got some new hardware. Been keeping it elevated since I got home.” Brock shrugged, “It’s been swollen, I had to go get the cast changed because of it.”

“Painful?”

“I can’t really complain knowing what you’re going through…”

“Nah, you can.” Metal sighed, “I mean, we’ve all had broken bones before. It can hurt a lot. And if it hurts, I won’t blame you for complaining.”

Brock nodded, “Yeah, it… It’s not great.”

“You should probably keep it a bit elevated here as well…” Metal shrugged, “There’s a thing under the table you can pull out to keep your legs up on…”

“Thanks.” Brock smiled.

“So, how’s Pepper doing?”

“Oh, she’s doing great.” Brock smiled, “She didn’t get injured, and my brother is watching her until I’m walking a bit better.”

“That’s good, I worried a bit about her.”

“You had time to worry about her?” Brock chuckled a bit.

“Hey, I’ve had _a lot_ of time to lay around and think lately….” Metal chuckled, “It’s basically the only thing I can do…”

“No… She’s doing fine. She’s even been up in a helicopter after the crash as well. Didn’t spook her.”

“That’s great.”

Brock nodded, “So, any word on when you might get back home?”

“It’s still very uncertain.” Metal shrugged, “Apparently some people stay here for like three-four weeks while some might need to stay here for up to six months and more. Judging by the pain I’m in, I doubt I’ll be out of here in just a few more weeks. But, that could change.”

Brock nodded. “I heard Derek fixed a ramp for you back home.”

“Yeah, Nora sent me a picture or two of it. Looks decent.” Metal nodded, “It’ll be weird to use it though.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Brock nodded, “So, have you heard anything from the rest of the team?”

“Trent has called the days I’ve been here.” Metal nodded a bit, “I think I’m really lucky to have him as a friend right now. I mean, his injury seemed hopeless back when it happened. So he gets the frustration and the thunderclouds inside my head.”

“Bad thoughts?”

“More like anger I can’t do anything about right now, and I’m trying not to be nasty about it.”

Brock nodded.

“-I cussed out one of the nurses yesterday…”

“No…”

“Yeah.” Metal shook his head, “I felt horrible about it afterwards, she did nothing wrong. It isn’t her fault I can’t do anything… She was a bit too sun-shiny and… I wasn’t having it.”

“Metal…”

“I know. I was horrible.” He sighed, “I did apologize, and she said she understood. She even explained that I wasn’t the first one to ever do that, and that I wouldn’t be the last one either. But… Man, I felt like a shit-human afterwards.”

“Well, I would’ve too…” Brock chuckled a bit, “But, if I were in your shoes, I’d be pissed too.”

Metal shrugged, “You know, if I hadn’t seen Sonny try to steal your food from you, I never would’ve guessed that you had any temper to speak of…”

“…I would’ve guessed you’d seen some at work as well…”

“That’s a kind of professional temperament. It’s not the same.”

“Yeah it is…”

“No, it doesn’t feel like it.” Metal shook his head, “At work it’s a tool you use. Privately, it’s a thing you try to keep restrained.”

“Alright, yeah… That’s true. But you also need to keep the work one restrained.”

“I’ve never really felt like I’m about to snap at work…” Metal shrugged.

“. . .You haven’t?” Brock looked at Metal in disbelief, “Because I think every single one of us have feared that some idiot is about to set off what we believed to be a killing machine without sidelines.”

He chuckled a bit, “Nah, mostly that was just show of dominance. Completely different thing.”

Brock broke down laughing, “Wait, wait… You’re telling me every time you’ve almost gone Full Metal on someone, it’s been controlled?”

“Controlled? Planned even.” Metal smirked, “Now, if you want to see a real scary human, go visit my mom…”

“Your mom?”

Metal chuckled, “Yeah, she’ll put the fear of God into just about anyone.”

“But, isn’t she like 5’4”, little old-ish lady?”

Metal shook his head, “No. -No-. Little, yeah… Sure, she’s a lot shorter than the rest of our family. Old-ish… She’s in her sixties, but I don’t think she’s noticed that she’s left her forties yet… You want to hear a story?”

Brock shrugged, “Sure…”

“So, you know I’ve got two sisters and a brother, right?”

Brock shrugged, “I think you’ve mentioned it to Trent or someone when I’ve been at the same table…?”

“Well, now you know…” Metal shrugged, “My younger sister has always had… Not the best taste in men.”

Brock chuckled, “And that means?”

“She falls for guys who’s not good for her. Her past relationships consist of bikers with substance problems, guys who’s been reported for domestic abuse already, this one guy where my _Ted Bundy-radar_ went off on… Not the best set of guys.”

“Your Ted Bundy radar?”

“I’m more than 50 percent certain he was a serial killer, or would become one…” Metal frowned, “Basically the only guy I’ve directly threatened to stay away from my sister, and family. -And not in the way you probably think I would threaten him, no… I told him how creepy he was, said I suspected him of inappropriate things, I didn’t specify. I did say that if my sister, or anyone else in my family, ever went missing I’d give the police a call and suggest him as a suspect.”

“Wow, what?” Brock scoffed, “How’d he react?”

“He paled… Promised not to get near her ever again.” Metal shrugged, “I didn’t have any evidence to support the gut feeling I had, but… I wonder.”

“Yeah… Me too…” Brock nodded.

“So, anyway…Tina she’s got lousy judgement. And this one time when she was still in her teens, she dated this twenty-something year old. He came over, all cocky, think he owned the world… I think my sister had started losing interest in him, but I’ve never had that confirmed…”

Brock nodded.

“So, at the dinner table, he started bragging about how much he could drink… Idiot.” Metal chuckled, “And I think the entire family just waited for my mom to snap at him. And she didn’t disappoint. This guy, who claimed to be big and tough, drove a Harley and claimed to win fights just about every weekend, fled from the dining room, went outside and refused to come back in. That’s how scary my little mom is.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yup, and the funny part… We all deemed it about a 4 out of 10 on the _mom-angriness-scale.”_

Brock laughed.

“-But she’s also one of the kindest moms ever, as well. You just don’t want to piss her off. The guy looked like he was about to piss himself.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind if I ever meet her.”

Metal nodded, “Also, she would probably try to play matchmaker for my younger sister if she ends up thinking you’re a decent guy. Just a warning. She’s tried to match Trent and Tina for years now…”

“So… Any reason they haven’t hooked up?”

Metal shrugged a bit, “I don’t know. Might be because I’m her brother, and Trent’s one of my best friends? I honestly wouldn’t care. I trust Trent with everyone in my life, he’d probably be good for her. I’m a bit uncertain about what kind of influence she would have on him though…”

Brock chuckled.

“Plus, looking at the guys she’s been with in the past, I don’t think Trent’s her _type_ …”

“He does ride a motorcycle though…”

“Yeah, he certainly has many of the same interests, just in a healthier form…” Metal tilted his head from side to side, “And he’s every bit the adrenaline junkie the rest of us are.”

“True.”

“The funny thing is, before I met Nora, my parents always thought I’d be the one to never settle down and have kids.”

“Well, proved them wrong.” Brock chuckled, “You’ve got more kids than the rest of Bravo combined…”

Metal nodded a bit, “Yeah… For now… Who knows? Maybe one of you will produce offspring soon?”

“Yeah, and who would that be?” Brock chuckled.

“I don’t know… Sonny? Clay? You if you found a girl? Ray could always get another one…”

“You know those two first ones would probably be a complete disaster, right?” Brock chuckled and shifted in his seat, “Me, not gonna happen. At least not yet… Ray? Well, that could make sense…”

Metal grinned at the thought, “I would’ve loved seeing those two freak out over it, though.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been golden.” Brock grinned, “If it happens, someone has to film the panic that ensues.”

“Yeah.” Metal grinned.

Brock studied Metal for a while, “So, were you scared when you learned that Nora was pregnant for the first time?”

“No…” Metal grinned at the memory, “No, we… We had been trying for a while. I can’t remember being that happy before, of course, we were nervous. We didn’t have a clue what we were getting ourselves into.”

“But worth it?”

Metal nodded, “Wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. If you get the chance, go for it.”

123123123

Brock had been there for a long while, the nurses had been in to help Metal change position twice by the time Brock was ready to head back home.


	7. Chapter 7

He was finally released from the rehabilitation facility about three months after the accident. He had gotten a wheelchair which fit him well, and he had learned a good set of skills to use in day-to-day life. He still had a lot left to learn, but he had learned enough to give living at home an attempt.

And he had gotten a few new friends in about the same sort of situation as he found himself in.

Actually going home was exciting. He knew how to manage the necessities, he knew what to look out for, he had been told how important it would be for him to avoid pressure ulcers and where the risk areas were and how to prevent them.

It didn’t necessarily mean he felt ready though.

123123123

The drive back home was a good one. It was just him and Nora. Eva and Jenny were watching their younger siblings.

He was able to sit back, feel normal for a while as Nora drove and sang along with the songs on the radio.

Sitting in the passenger seat made him feel like every other person sitting in any passenger seat in America. The only thing actively reminding him about the new way his world worked was that he couldn’t feel the weight of his hands resting against his lap.

Still, he couldn’t help but smile. These small moments with her was some of his favorite ones. He loved the way she sang along, sometimes making up her own lyrics when she didn’t know the real ones. She small shoulder dance that went along with the singing.

“What?” she glanced over at him for a short second, “You’re… Smiling weird.”

“Nothing…” he shrugged, “Just… Realized how much I’ve missed you, and how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” She grinned back, “It’s going to be good to have you next to me in bed again. I’ve missed cuddling up to you.”

He glanced down at his legs, “It’s going to be different from now on…”

“-Are we still talking about innocent cuddling?”

“Well, yeah… That as well.” He chuckled in spite of himself, “-I’d really like to cuddle up together tonight. One way or another.”

“Girls night?” Nora asked teasingly, “We could put on The Notebook or some movie just like it, put on a mask, cuddle up on the couch.”

“…I’d like that.” Metal smirked.

“Then we do that after the youngest go to bed.” Nora winked.

123123123

She parked in front of their house almost two hours after they had left the hospital

“Want me to get your wheelchair ready for you?”

“…Yeah, I think you have to. I can’t exactly walk back to the trunk and get it myself.”

She flashed a smile before she leaned over to kiss him, “Good to have you home, handsome.”

“Damn good to be home…” he grinned and pulled her back to him for another kiss.

“I’m sure the kids barely can wait to see you,” Nora smiled softly, “I’m gonna get the wheelchair so we can get inside.”

He nodded and opened his car door and started lifting his legs outside, ready to transfer over to the wheelchair when it got to the side of the car.

“You’re telling me if you need me to do something for you, right?”

Metal nodded, “Just place the chair here and put the breaks on. I’ve got from there.”

Nora nodded and did as her husband requested.

123123123

He wheeled up the rest of their driveway, and stopped right before he got to the ramp Derek had set up for him.

“Looks like Derek did a good job…”

“He did.” Nora smiled, “And it fits strollers as well…”

“…We’re done with kids now, right? Because you don’t look as pregnant as you would be and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have trouble partaking in activities that could lead to more kids now… Besides, aren’t we too old?”

“Relax…” Nora chuckled, “I’m not pregnant again, and as far as I’m concerned, we have enough kids now… I was thinking about when our kids get old enough to give us grandkids. -Or when our slightly younger friends might come over with their young kids.”

“Okay. Good.” Metal chuckled, “Because you gave me a scare right there…”

Nora chuckled, “Come on, you were suggesting another one after Aimee…”

“Yeah, I know…” he nodded, “But now? I think this will be enough of a challenge without adding another diaper-duty and sleep deprivation exercise.”

Nora nodded, “Yeah, definitely. And yeah, we’re too old for that by now…”

Metal nodded.

“So, are you going to try the ramp, or are you searching for a way to ask for help, without asking for help?”

“No, I was just a bit caught up in the stroller comment.” Metal shrugged before he started pushing up the ramp. He paused at the plateau in the middle and looked over at her, “It’s nice. Good gradient, and I can grab onto the rails at both sides if I want or need to…”

Nora nodded and walked up the stairs to unlock the door, “Do you like it?”

“Love it.” Metal nodded, “I’ve gotta thank Derek the next time I see him.”

Nora nodded and placed her hand on the doorhandle. The kids were home and the house was unlocked. As Metal made it up to the top plateau she opened the door for him so he could wheel inside.

“So, I hope the drive didn’t take all your energy…” she shrugged as she closed the door behind them, “You can sit up for a longer amount of time now, right?”

“Yeah, I’m golden so far…” he grinned, “Might need to flatten out for a bit in an hour or two, but… Not yet.”

“That’s good.”

“So, where do you think the kids are at?” he looked over the empty living room, “I’d think they’d be sprawled out over the couch…”

“SURPRISE!!!”

Metal laughed as their five kids sprang from behind the counter which divided the living room from the kitchen and from the other nearby rooms, and the bunch of SEAL operators and a few other friends who also materialized from hiding spots he hadn’t expected.

It’s was easily one of the best group hugs he’d been a part of. And they were getting the hang of hugging with the wheelchair as an obstacle, it was way less awkward than the first group hug at the rehab facility.

“Good to have you home, dad…” Eva whispered and let her hand rub against the back of his shoulder.

“Good to be home.” He smiled, almost choking at the lump that formed in his throat, “What’s all this?”

“We thought you deserved a proper welcome home party…” Jenny shrugged, “And uncle Trent and the rest came home yesterday. Everyone wanted to be here to see you come home.”

He didn’t dare answering, he knew his voice would crack and crumble, so he settled for a nod.

The group hug broke up and was followed by his brothers coming over to either fist bump him hug him.

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“You’re looking good.” Trent flashed a smile as he pulled back from the second hug he had stolen. All the others had greeted him by now, and they were able to step aside and talk for a bit, “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better than the last time you saw me face to face…” Metal shrugged, “It’s not all sunshine and blue skies, but… We’ll talk about that…”

“-Another time? Less people?”

Metal nodded.

“Think you’d be up for joining us at The Bulkhead come Friday?”

“…I don’t know…” Metal shrugged, “Can I decide on Friday?”

“Of course.” Trent nodded, and looked over his best friend, “Cool wheels, by the way…”

Metal chuckled a bit, “Yeah, I got to know a few guys who were in for routine stays and check ups… Got to test theirs and figure out some of what worked for me and what didn’t. Also got some great pointers at what to look for.”

Trent nodded.

“Certainly feels less like a wheelchair than the one I borrowed at first.”

“Yeah…” Trent nodded, “Is it weird if I say it looks natural?”

“A bit…” Metal laughed, “But rolling past mirrors the last couple of weeks have been different. I kinda feel that the chair isn’t the first thing you notice… Not like the one I was borrowing.”

“Yeah, no…” Trent nodded, “This one definitely looks like I’d forget to think about it after a while….”

“Yeah, exactly.” Metal grinned, “It’s not just all in my head, right?”

“No.” Trent shook his head, “It suits you, given the circumstances.”

“Yeah, I’d rather be walking around right now, but… In this one, I kinda feel confident even though I’m like… Stuck here…”

Trent nodded and stepped around Metal to sit on the chaise of the couch.

“Besides, it is so much lighter…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Metal nodded, “The one I borrowed was an arm workout to push around, I used so much energy just pushing it around on a flat floor. This one rolls much easier.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It’s great.” Metal grinned, “Besides, you of all people know how pain zaps energy, right? It’s not as bad anymore, but a few weeks ago…”

Trent nodded.

“And I like the footplate on this one. That’s one thing I learned from trying the other guys wheelchairs, the tapered footplate makes my feet look less awkward.”

“Did your feet look awkward?”

“Yeah.” Metal chuckled just as Sonny joined them.

“Did you just ask him if his feet looked awkward?” Sonny frowned, “Isn’t that like, rude?”

Metal chuckled and shook his head, “No. I was just explaining that I like this chair, and that I think my feet look less awkward with the kind of footplate that is on this wheelchair.”

“Oh, okay…” Sonny chuckled, “So… The answer to Trent’s question…”

“Yeah, totally looked awkward. I would think I had placed my feet properly on the footplate, but in reality I had just managed to get them on there haphazardly. Like, I could think I had gathered my feet nicely in the middle, but my right foot could be off in the right corner and my left could be hanging out kinda in the middle but turned on the side like this…” he explained as he demonstrated with his hands, “I can still have my feet land on the side, but it’s harder here. And, I’m too much of a control freak to think that it’s okay…”

Sonny chuckled, “If you’re a control freak, what does that make Jason?”

“Only thing Metal is a control freak about is how he presents himself…” Trent shrugged and glanced over at Sonny, “Posture-wise…”

Sonny trapped his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, “Alright, somehow what I said suddenly felt really wrong.”

“Hey, relax.” Metal sighed, “You guys have to stop tip-toeing around me. Sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah?” Trent glanced over.

“Yeah. It’s… Annoying.” Metal nodded, “Enough in my life has changed over the last few months. Don’t you two dare stop joking around me, alright?”

“Alright.” Sonny grinned a bit, “-But what if we go too far?”

“You don’t think I can tell you then?” Metal chuckled, “I don’t think it’ll happen, but… If it does, I can tell you.”

“Aight…” Sonny nodded, “How is it? You want me to fetch a beer for you?”

Metal shook his head, “Nah… I don’t feel like drinking today. Haven’t had alcohol since before I got hurt and… I don’t think this setting is the right one to experiment in.”

“Probably a smart move…” Trent nodded, “The first time after I injured my arm was a downright disaster.”

“It was.” Metal chuckled, “We actually had to carry you home that night.”

“I don’t remember…” Trent shook his head.

“I’m not surprised…” Metal chuckled, “You were wasted.”

Trent sighed, and nodded.

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Blackburn sat down in the chair he had parked beside. At first he expected the same questions he’d gotten all day. _How are you feeling? Good to be back home? How’s your back?_ But he didn’t say anything, just kept glancing over a few times.

“…What?”

“Have you had time to think of what you want to do next?”

“…No.” Metal shook his head, “No, I haven’t. But it’s obvious that I won’t be an operator anymore.”

Blackburn shrugged a bit, “I think we could work out a position where you work a little intel and teach the green teams… Would you be interested?”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, the position’s yours if you decide you want it.”

Metal nodded, “I’d love it, but I don’t think I’m ready yet. Right now I’m nowhere near where I need to be to be the dad and husband I want to be. I’m not even close to where I need to be to feel confident about not needing help for everyday tasks.”

“I figured you might say something along those lines…” Blackburn nodded, “But it’s an open invitation, we’re not going to hire anyone else…”

“So I’m a charity case?”

“No. You’ve got a lot of experience from the field. You have leader experience. You somehow turned the dumpster fire Alpha was into a functional team way back in the day. It’s more about us utilizing the strengths our guys have, the best way we can. And you’re still very useful to us, even if you can’t operate anymore.”

Metal chuckled a bit, “Well, thanks for building up my ego a bit…”

“You’ll let me know when and if you feel ready for it?”

Metal nodded, “Yeah, thanks…”

“You’re a resource. Would be stupid of us not to keep you around.”

“…What kind of hours would I be working? How much work would I have?”

Blackburn shrugged, “As much as you want. I don’t know how this injury affects you, neither does the rest of the brass. If you feel like you’d only be able to handle a 20 percent workload, then that’s what you’ll get. If you can do a 100… It’s yours.”

Metal nodded, “-And the hours?”

“Again, it’s whatever you can handle.” Blackburn glanced over, “I suppose the green team part would be mostly daytime, for now I don’t see you joining them on exercises… I see you in more of a classroom setting…”

Metal nodded.

“The intel part could be all hours, but if that’s too much… Daytime works well.”

Metal nodded again, “I can just shoot you a text whenever I feel like it?”

Blackburn nodded.

“-Whether it’s in five weeks or five months?”

“No matter how long it takes you.” Blackburn nodded.

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It had been a nice welcome home party. Everyone made a point of how good it was too see him out of the hospital setting. He got a ton of hugs from his kids, and Aimee decided that it was very possible to sit on his lap while he was in the wheelchair. He’d feasted on Sonny’s barbeque, eaten more of his favorite snacks than he could remember ever doing before. He had loved the party, but he was exhausted by the time the last few guests left.

He had lazily transferred over to the couch, lifting his legs up to the seat of his wheelchair before laying down along the chaise with a groan. The two youngest were already in bed, the three oldest were preparing for school the next day.

“Postpone the girls night?” Nora asked as she sat down next to him.

“I’d fall asleep before we got halfway through it…” he chuckled.

“Maybe we should get you to bed then…” she shrugged, “And I’ll be by as soon as I know the kids are ready for tomorrow.”

“Chris is eleven…” he almost chuckled, “You really think he won’t be distracted by anything and actually remember to get to bed before midnight?”

“I might not trust him, but I do trust Eva…” Nora smiled, “And Jenny too.”

He nodded a bit, “Alright, I’ll get to bed… I just need to rest my back a little while longer before I get ready…”

“Alright…” Nora smiled and patted his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

It was nice to finally be back in his own bed, with his wife.

Having her resting her head on his shoulder with her left arm resting against his chest. He couldn’t feel where her feet were at, but he was willing to bet that she had her left leg draped over his left leg.

He had one hand resting at the small of her waist, and the other one rested over her elbow. He rubbed his thumb back and forth near her elbow. He had his head rested against the top of hers, and his lips pressed against her.

“I missed this…” he mumbled into her hair.

“I’ve missed this as well…” she smiled, “I never want you to leave again.”

“Well, you might actually get that wish fulfilled.”

She sighed, not as joyful as she might have been at the thought of having him home for good in the past, but still grateful that she still had him. She had silently dreamt of the day he’d retire, but not like this. Never like this.

“How does it feel?”

“Gotta be more specific than that, babe…” he chuckled.

“Everything.” She shrugged a little, “How does your back feel?”

“My back feels fine now… Hasn’t really hurt last couple of weeks, that’s nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, mostly.” Metal chuckled, “It still aches a bit when I sit too long. But it’s a lot better.”

“Was today too long?”

“Not _too long._ ” He shook his head. “I probably should’ve laid down for twenty minutes at one point, but… I’ll be just fine tomorrow.”

She nodded a little.

He started rubbing at her side a little.

“-And how does it feel to not feel your legs?”

“Can’t really explain it..” he shrugged a little, “It’s weird. I’ve rubbed at my thighs more times since the injury than I think I’ve done earlier in my life… It’s like touching someone else.”

“-And you really feel - _nothing_ -?”

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s like black empty void nothing. That might change though. I’m still in something they call spinal shock. Right now everything below the injury is basically dead meat. Or, as useful as dead. I don’t really have reflexes, I don’t have nothing.”

She nodded again.

“Once that passes, I’ll probably develop some spasms, or spasticity. Hopefully not too bad ones.”

“How bad can they be?”

He shrugged a bit, “All depends. I talked with this one guy who’d kicked himself out of bed multiple times.”

“Oh that’s… Not good…”

“Nope, hope I don’t have to worry about that.” He laughed cautiously.

“Let’s hope…” she whispered as she drew patterns on his chest.

“I’ll tell you a few things that feel damn right awesome though…” he grinned.

“Yeah?”

“Being at home. That’s something I’ve looked forward to since I was in the hospital over there…”

She nodded.

“Seeing you and the kids every day. I’ve been looking forward to that.”

She nodded again.

“And, laying here like this? I can barely think of anything that would top this…”

She shrugged a little, “Pretty sure I could think of a few things…”

“Woman, there’s a few things I physically can’t do at the moment….” Metal chuckled.

“No, wasn’t thinking about _that_ …” she chuckled back, “And besides, I did my research. You’ll probably be able to perform with a few helping tools, unless there’s this reflex thing… You could potentially be able to do that kind of stuff without help as well. Just not yet.”

“You did your research? Why am I not surprised?” he smirked and hugged her closer to him.

“Because you know I can’t stand not knowing everything I need to know about stuff. I hate going in blind.”

He nodded.

“-Now, what I did have in mind was this…” she whispered, got up on her knees and climbed over his waist so she easily could lean down and make out with him. “Is this okay? Does this hurt you?”

“Very okay.” He grinned, “Love the view.”

“I’m not hurting you by sitting like this?”

“Not at all…” he shook his head, his hands already feeling along her thighs.

Then she bent down and started kissing him, taking extra care at the places she knew he loved being kissed or nibbled at.

“Awww, yessss…” he gasped between two kisses. His hands starting to feel along her familiar curves, “I love you.”

“Good, because you’re stuck with me…” she whispered back as she gently scratched his scalp with her fingernails.

“Eleanor, I think you’re wrong there…” he chuckled, “It’s _you_ who are stuck with _me_ …”

“Good.” She winked before kissing him deeply, “I wouldn’t want it any other way…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this chapter will probably be 1 of 2 in the same time frame (or 1 of 3), my posting has caught up with my writing now.

“How are you feeling?”

Metal looked over Trent in the driver’s seat, “Think a drink or two will be good. But how are we getting home? I’m not comfortable around all sorts of cars yet… With the transfers.”

“No, I’m the designated driver tonight. Don’t worry about it.”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah.” Trent nodded, “Kinda figured it would be nice to have an actual exfil plan on your first real outing. In case of just about anything. I mean, you might want to stay until they close the bar.”

“-But then again, I might have two beers and be _done._ ” Metal shrugged.

Trent nodded, “And I don’t want us to stress about getting a taxi at the right time and if the taxi is the right kind to be able to fit your chair in and all that.”

Metal nodded and wrapped his hands around the top of his thighs.

“You nervous?”

He let go of a nervous chuckle, “A little. First time for a night out since the accident. First time at The Bulkhead since the accident. Apart from going with Nora to the grocery store a few times, I’ve only been at home and at my parents place since I got home.”

“Yeah, you’ve been more of a homebody than usual…” Trent nodded, “Anything in specific you’re nervous about?”

“That I’ll be looking up to everyone, unless they’re sitting down… But I’ll also be looking up to everyone if you sit on the bar stools.” Metal sighed, “Got a few other concerns, but those are probably TMI.”

“I don’t mind.” Trent shrugged.

“I’m kinda scared that I’ll forget to cath or something with a few drinks in.”

“Cath like…”

“Please don’t make me say it out loud…” Metal shook his head, “It’s a real concern.”

“So I was guessing the right kind?”

“Probably.” Metal blew a breath.

“Maybe set an alarm?” Trent shrugged, “Probably a little more often than you’d have to do it without drinking alcohol. I mean, alcohol has that effect.”

“Yeah, might actually have to…” Metal nodded.

“Anything else?”

“How being drunk will feel now, I guess…”

“Would it feel any different?”

“I don’t know…” Metal hitched up his shoulders, “Probably. My thighs always used to get tingly when I was drunk before. I doubt that’ll happen now…”

Trent nodded, “Probably not.”

“A little scared of falling out of my wheelchair. -And how hard it could be to get back in it while inebriated.”

“If that happens, and you struggle to get back in. We’ll help you.”

“Thank you.” Metal nodded, “I imagine _drunk_ will hit me like a truck.”

“Well, in that case, I think I owe carrying you home at least five times over…” Trent chuckled, “Just don’t over pace yourself. Don’t drink more than the others, and for god’s sake don’t try to keep up with Sonny if he’s slamming them down.”

“You think he’ll be in _that_ mood tonight?”

“I don’t know. The bonfire nightcaps went down quickly right before we left the sandbox.” Trent shrugged, “Think he might have hit a bad spell.”

Metal nodded a bit, “He’s walking close to the edge…”

“The: _should go through about 12 steps edge?_ Yeah.” Trent nodded, “But he always straightens out after a little while.”

“Yeah, he just gives his liver the Hiroshima treatment first.” Metal shook his head, “He has a problem right? On and off…”

Trent nodded, “Yeah, I think he does.”

Metal nodded.

123123123

“Heeey! Look at that handsome guy!” Jason grinned as Metal made his way into The Bulkhead that evening, making sure the entire team and a few random guests saw him at once.

Metal offered up a smile and wheeled over to his group. Then he looked around. “Could we find a table to sit by, you guys are like awfully tall.”

“Yeah, let’s sit over there…” Trent shrugged and indicated one of the booths in the back.

“Sounds good.” He grinned back, thankful that Trent knew enough to suggest that for him.

123123123

“So, you plan on sitting in that thing, or do you want to jump into the booth?” Trent asked as they got over there.

Metal shrugged a bit, and tested the cushion of the booth with his hand, “That seat is too hard for me. I could sit there with my cushion under me, but… I’ll probably be just as comfortable just sitting here.”

“Is that what you want to do or what you feel you need to do?”

Meal shrugged, “It would be easiest, wouldn’t it?”

Trent shrugged a bit, “You would have better back support in the booth.”

Metal nodded, “Yeah… But when I’m getting drinks…”

“No, you’re not getting your own drinks tonight.” Sonny shook his head, “Tonight is on the rest of us.”

“Yeah, what he said.” Ray nodded.

“Alright…” Metal nodded and tried to get into a better position in order to transfer over to the bench of the booth. Once he had lifted himself over, he pulled out the cushion he had in his chair and placed it near the inner corner of the bench.

Once he was in place, Jason sat down beside him. Clay and Sonny took up the other side of the bench. Brock and Ray found a couple of chairs they pulled over.

“Hey, Metal… Is it okay if I borrow your chair, or that like invasion of privacy or something?”

“No, just sit down. Probably won’t be very comfortable without the cushion, but…” Metal shrugged a bit, “Thanks for asking though…”

Trent nodded, “I can shift around a bit if it gets too uncomfortable…”

Metal nodded.

“So, what do you want to drink?” Ray asked, “Any snacks?”

“You’re serious?” Metal chuckled.

“Yeah, you don’t get to pay a penny tonight.” Sonny nodded.

“Think I’ll start slow, a beer.” Metal shrugged, “I don’t want to end up with you guys having to carry me outta here tonight.”

“Hey, we’ll just place you back in your chair and wheel you outta here if it comes to that.” Jason turned and winked at him.

“Alright, probably a better solution for everyone involved.” Metal nodded a bit.

“-So any specific snacks?”

Metal shook his head.

“Anyone opposed to chili nuts?”

“Oh, that sounds good…” Metal grinned.

“Then we’re getting that.” Ray grinned.

123123123

“Might want to ease up there Quinn…” he said and held Sonny in focus.

“Ease up? Nah…”

“That’s your fourth drink in half an hour.” He nodded towards the glass, “I didn’t count earlier, but you’ve been slamming them back pretty rapidly.”

“So…”

Metal shrugged a little, “I just don’t want you to end up with alcohol poisoning. Which is where you’re headed if you don’t ease up soon. And let’s face it, that stuff you’re drinking is human jet fuel.”

He could see Sonny’s jaw work as the Texan tried to keep himself from snapping back at him.

The rest of the team had tensed.

“…Alright.” Sonny eventually nodded, “Alright, I’ll get a couple rounds of coke before I get another alcoholic drink.”

He could feel the rest of the team relax.

Sonny drained the rest of the strong liquor in his glass, then he looked over at him, “You want a whiskey or a beer or something? The one you’ve been nursing must be piss warm already, and there’s not much left.”

Metal shrugged a bit, glanced over at Trent, then back at Sonny, “Another beer. Then I better have a break.”

“It’s only your third one…” Brock shrugged, “You usually don’t need a break after three.”

He shook his head, “No, but… For one, I haven’t had a drink in months. And second, I don’t know how being drunk while paralyzed from here down works. I think it’s best to ease into it.”

“Okay, yeah…” Brock nodded, “I should’ve caught onto that already…”

Metal shook his head a little, “No… No, I can’t expect you to guess every little thing I probably should think about.”

Brock shrugged a little, “Still should’ve seen _that_ though…”

“Don’t think about it…” Metal shrugged, just as his phone started buzzing.

“Is that Nora wanting you back home?” Clay smirked a little.

“Nope,” Metal shook his head, and leaned forward to glance at Trent who was already getting out of the wheelchair, “I just need to do something…”

“Need me to get up?” Jason asked.

“I’m not climbing over you… Yeah.” Metal nodded.

Jason got up, Metal shuffled over and got into his chair.

“You need help with anything?”

“Trent, this is definitely one thing I don’t want help with, at all. Ever.”

“Alright, yeah… Copy that.” Trent nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/3

Sonny had waited until Metal came back from the toilet, before he went to get more to drink for them. He came back with a beer for him and a Mountain Dew for himself. 

Metal smirked a bit at the Texan’s ability to call EVERYTHING soda-related for coke.

They sat around chatting about all and nothing for a long while. Once the third beer was down, he didn’t feel as strongly about the break anymore. So when Jason offered him another drink, he accepted it and asked for something stronger than just a beer.

123123123

A few hours later he definitely had more than just a buzz going. By the time Trent and Sonny broke off to play darts, he was . He’d opted for something stronger to drink after coming back from the bathroom. 

It was obvious to him that the drinks hit a bit differently tonight. His head had felt sorta clear up until ten minutes ago. But now it definitely felt like he’d be swaying a bit if he had been able to stand up.

His head spinning when he got up was usually a cue to slow down or stop drinking for the night. Depending on which type of spin it was.

His head starting to spin while he was still seated, had to be a bad sign of the morning to come.

“Another one?” Clay asked, nodding towards the empty whiskey glass in front of his right hand.

“Nah… Feels like I’ll be in trouble tomorrow already…” he shook his head.

“So, a soda then? Or a glass of water?”

“Water would be nice.” Metal nodded and leaned on the table.

123123123

It was about half an hour until the bar closed when he figured that he should get home. He wasn’t entirely alright anymore. He knew that. His head hurt, his back hurt right where the break had been, and he was low grade nauseous. For some godforsaken reason, he had accepted even more drinks as the hours rolled on.

“Hey, Trent…” he leaned forward and waved his hand, “Think you can drive me home now?”

Trent yawned and nodded, “Do you need to go in there first? Or should we get some food on the way back?”

“Food on the way back sounds great. If I can stay in the car…”

“Yeah, of course.” Trent nodded and got out of the wheelchair he had used as a regular chair most of the evening.

Metal started moving towards it.

**123123123**

“What…?”

“Just us, Nora…” Trent whispered.

“Oh…” she yawned, “You have a good night?”

“Yeah.” Metal nodded, “Got a bit too… soaked.”

“Yeah, figured it was best to see that he actually got to bed, and didn’t just land on the floor here…”

“Appreciate it, Trent…” Nora flashed a tired smile, “Stay the night, I’ll fix you breakfast tomorrow, alright?”

“Oh, I can’t say no to that…” Trent grinned, “I’ll take the couch, then I won’t wake up Chris or Lila.”

“Good idea.” Nora nodded lazily, before she snuggled better into her warm cocoon, “Sleep well boys.”

“You too….”

“Yeah, night babe…” Metal grinned, grabbed one of her hands and placed a kiss on it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/3

“Morning handsome…” she whispered with a smile after having watched him for a while. He breathed too often to be asleep. He was laying on his stomach, facing the window.

He didn’t answer.

“Scott…?”

She saw him swallow before he turned his face towards her for a second or two, before returning to his original position.

“…You’re crying.” She sat up cautiously, “Is it a grey day, or are you in pain?”

“My back fucking hurts.” He choked out. “-And my head is pounding, but that’s not too bad.”

“Alright, what do you need me to do?”

“I need my pain meds…”

“All of them?” Nora frowned, thinking of his shelf in the medicine cabinet.

“No… The one I got after this accident and Tylenol or something.” He ground out, “The one starting wit _pre-_ something…”

“You know, for one who has like every sort of pain relief medicine I know of, you really should take time to learn the entire name of them…”

“Eleanor… Not now…”

“Sorry…” she sighed, “You’re really in bad pain, aren’t you?”

He nodded slightly.

“Anything else you need?”

“No…”

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“Here, Tylenol and Pregabalin, and a water bottle…”

“-Thank you…”

Nora sat down on the floor in front of him, “Last night was a bit too much?”

“Yeah…” he sighed as he prepared to push up on his elbows to reach for the meds, but ended up hissing in pain instead.

“Here…” she shrugged and picked up the pill and capsule she had placed on his nightstand and placed it in his hand instead. Then he held the water bottle out for him.

He took the meds and swallowed them down with a gulp of water.

“What would I ever do without you?”

The corner of her lips threatened to turn upward, and she almost answered ‘ _crash and burn_ ’ on instinct. But that didn’t feel right, right now. “Good thing you won’t figure out of that…”

He smirked for a split second, “Thank you…”

“Does it hurt to have something touch your back as well? Or?”

“Don’t know…” he sighed, “Didn’t really hurt to do that when it hurt all of the time…”

“So, maybe I could crawl back into bed and rub your back and shoulders?”

He sighed a little, “No, I need to turn around… I’ve been laying like this for way too long…”

She nodded a bit, “You look like you might need help with that right now…”

He nodded, “Yeah, my back hurts too much to try on my own right now…”

“Trent’s still on the couch… Is it okay if I ask him to help you? I don’t want to cause you pain…”

He nodded a bit, “He knows the technique as well… All for it.”

Nora nodded.

“-I’m sorry… I’m sorry life turned out like this…”

“No, you don’t get to feel guilty for this.” She shook her head, “It sucks. You’re allowed to be angry or think that it all sucks. But it’s not your fault. So don’t say you’re sorry for it, alright?”

He tried to smile, but it got nowhere near his eyes.

She leaned in close and placed a kiss on his cheek, “I love you. Any way I can keep you.”

“Love you. More than I’ll ever be able to tell or show.” He replied, new tears spilling from his eyes.

She reached out and wiped away the wet trails, “No… You’re good at showing it…”

He grabbed her hand, and pressed it to his lips.

“…I’m going to get our third wheel now, so that you can get into another position…” she smirked a bit, “Okay?”

“Yeah…” he nodded a bit.

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“Trent, you awake?” she asked as she neared the living room.

“Yeah…” Trent yawned, “Been scrolling through the news for the last half hour… Sorry for waking you up tonight…”

“No problem…” she smiled, “Could you help us a bit in there…?”

“…Yeah? With what?”

She shrugged a bit, “He’s in pain, a lot by the looks of it. And he needs help turning around, and I… I can’t. I don’t want to cause him pain.”

“Yeah. Sure. Of course.” Trent nodded and got up, “What kind of pain?”

“His back, mostly.” She sighed, “Oh, enough of a hangover to admit to having a headache…”

Trent chuckled a bit, “So not in the best shape then…”

Nora shook her head, “If you help him and keep him company for a bit, if he wants it… I can fix breakfast in the meanwhile. The kids will probably be up soon, and best to have something to toss their way in order to keep the peace in here.”

Trent nodded, “Good call.”

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She came in a couple of hours later to find both men snoring softly on either side of the bed.

She walked around to the side her husband was sleeping at, and whispered his name softly. A few rounds, and he was blinking awake.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Better…” He smiled, “I actually got the sleep I didn’t tonight.”

She nodded, “Are you feeling like getting up yet, or?”

He shrugged a little and moved to change positions. He didn’t grimace, or wince. A stark contrast to earlier that morning. He turned to his side and sighed, then he pushed up on one hand in order to arrange his legs better, before laying back down. “I’m a little tired still. And I probably shouldn’t sit for as long today…”

She nodded, “Do you want breakfast in bed?”

He smirked a little, “No… It’s a privilege to eat breakfast at a table… I’m just not ready to get up yet.”

She nodded.

He glanced over his shoulder for a second, “I would prefer sharing the bed with my wife and not my best buddy though. So if we could kick him out of bed and get you back in here again…?”

“-I’m not asleep anymore… I can hear you.” Trent mumbled, “But yeah… I can get outta bed.”

Nora chuckled at the slight embarrassed grimace on Metal’s face.

“I’ll get up.” Trent yawned, “You need someone to make sure the youngest ones don’t burn down the house, or do you trust Eva and Jenny with that?”

“We trust them, but if you want to stick around, that’s just fine.” Metal looked over, “I should probably get up soon as well. Just take a couple of breaks during the day…”

Nora nodded a bit, “If you get up now, both of you, I can make breakfast for you two. It’ll be lunch for the rest of us…”

“I’m in!” Trent grinned and almost jumped to his feet.

Metal rolled over to his back once again and looked at Trent, before he sat up and started to get ready to get in his chair, “-Showoff…”

Trent just chuckled.

“You need anything?” Nora asked as she watched her husband get his legs off the bed.

“No, I’ve got this…” he winked, “Just give me a few minutes.”

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Not that much later, they were all seated around the table.


	12. Chapter 12

“Good to see you, kid…” his father smiled as he opened the door for them, his mother went for a hug as soon as she was able to get inside the house.

“Good to have you out of that hospital.” She whispered.

“Yeah, good to be back home.” He nodded, “Nora and most of the kids are out shopping. Eva and Jenny are off playing volleyball with some friends. They should be home soon.”

“You’re looking good, son.” Michael offered up a smile, “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” He shrugged, “Still getting used to this, but… I’m doing alright.”

“That’s good.” His mom, Evelyn, smiled, “Nora’s handling this just as well as she’s handling everything else?”

He chuckled a bit, “Yeah, she’s… She’s the best.”

“That’s good.” She smiled, “And you’re still telling me if you need me to babysit for a few days or a week. Right? Just because the kids are getting older doesn’t mean you two don’t need a few days off every now and then.”

Michal chuckled, “Lynn’s just suffering from empty nest syndrome… You would think that had passed almost two decades after the youngest left.”

“Yeah… Yeah, we know.” Metal chuckled a bit, “But, it’s been good to have EVERYONE around for these last couple of weeks since I got home. We’ve had a lot of adjusting to do. And the kids… Like everyone else, they were a little _off their game_.”

“Understandable.” His dad nodded, “Big changes like this one isn’t easy for anyone. And most of your kids probably thought you were invincible and unbreakable before this.”

“No, I don’t think they thought I was unbreakable.” Metal shook his head, “I’ve had enough of injuries to prove I’m not.”

“No, but… You’ve always gotten back to the level you were at before.” Michael shrugged, “This time hits different for them.”

Metal nodded, “Yeah… Guess that’s true.”

His mom nodded as well.

“Go sit down, I just poured some coffee over on a thermos. We can have some coffee before the others get here.” Metal gestured towards the couch.

“Do you want me to carry anything over?”

“No, I’ve got this…” he shook his head, “But thanks.”

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He placed a tray they had gotten from IKEA on his lap, laid the thermos down sideways near his stomach and placed three mugs up against the thermos.

Over the last two weeks or so, a lot of things had been changed in their house. For instance, he now had his own shelf in the cupboard where pots and pans used to be stored, filled with plates, mugs and soup bowls. It meant that he could more easily get ready in the mornings without help.

He rolled back over to the couch in the living room and placed the stuff on the table.

“That’s a smart trick…” his mom grinned as she poured up some coffee for herself.

“Yeah, makes my thighs a flat-ish surface and I can easier transport stuff.” He grinned back, “Also makes it possible for me to wheel around if I’ve got a hot pot or something. But, lets face it… Nora doesn’t like it when I mess around too much in her kitchen.”

“Smart woman.” Evelyn chuckled, “Last time I checked, you hadn’t outgrown the ability to make it look like a nuke had hit.”

He nodded, “I can make coffee though… Without making it look like either Hiroshima or Nagasaki. And fry up eggs. Although, I haven’t tried doing that since… Since I got injured.”

His dad nodded, “Speaking of _since you got injured_ … I’ve set up a ramp at our place as well. It was one of the things we knew you were going to need. But we didn’t know how thorough we’d need to be with all of the other stuff.”

“That’s basically all I need at your place.” He shrugged.

“Are you sure? Because we can easily renovate a bit.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Not even grab bars in the bathroom.”

“No, I’ve already learned a technique to forgo that.” He shrugged, “One of the women I got to know pointed out that, _the more I learn to adapt myself to normal layouts, the less trouble I’ll be in when I visit a place where things aren’t adapted to me._ She loved traveling, always had. And the coolest and craziest thing I know she’s done after her injury was solo-backpacking. I saw pictures. Right now, I still can’t believe how she did that, or how she dared. But… One step at the time, I guess.”

“Sounds like some woman.”

Metal nodded, “Yeah, on willpower and toughness she’d probably give all of my team members a run for their money.”

His father nodded, “Yeah, sounds like she’d embarrass the devil dogs I belonged to once upon a time as well.”

Metal nodded, “She’d definitely just run over Rob…”

“Hey, be kind.” Lynn shook her head a bit, “He was a completely different man when he was in active duty.”

“I know. He still served when I joined the Navy.” Metal nodded, “But something’s been _off_ about him since I was a kid. Like, did he get a TBI or something I don’t know about?”

“No, he got captured.” Michael shrugged, “Still won’t talk about it. He changed a lot after that, and actually quitting seemed to be the worst _he_ could do…”

“Oh…” Metal nodded, “So, PTSD then…”

“He doesn’t use that word.”

“No, but… That’s what it is, right?” Metal shrugged, “It’s just that you’re both part of the generation that don’t feel comfortable around that definition.”

“I guess.”

“-Good thing things change, right? If only just a little.” Metal nodded as he poured up a cup of coffee for himself, “I think it would be a lot harder for everyone I know in the field, if we still believed that PTSD was something weak people got. Truth is, most of us have some. If not all of us.”

“Well, you haven’t exactly chosen the easiest or safest part of the service to work in either.”

“Yeah, but still… You don’t have to be a freaking SEAL to see contact.” Metal shrugged, “Most of the guys joining Green team have already lost someone they knew, someone they considered a brother. I know I had. Trent had. Almost everyone on my current team has. Actually, don’t think Ray had, but he’s more of the exception that makes the rule in this case…”

“Yeah…” Michael nodded, “You’ve got a point there.”

Metal nodded as well.

“About that…” his mother swallowed, “How’s everything been since the accident?”

“You wondering if I’m sleeping alright?”

“Yeah…”

“Most nights.” He nodded, “In the start, the pain kept me awake and my mind wandered… Lately, that hasn’t that bad. I get more than the sleep I need.”

“That’s good.” She smiled a bit, “Hopefully a little above your bare minimum as well?”

“Yeah. I get between six and eight hours every night. That’s… As good as it gets.”

Lynn nodded

He took a cautious sip of his coffee before he placed his coffee cup on the table. Then he clicked on his breaks, grabbed his tires and pressed himself up off the seat. He held the position for a little while.

His mother tilted her head as she watched him. An unspoken question on her tongue.

“Just have to do this every now and then. To prevent pressure sores.” He flashed a smile, “I’ve set my watch to buzz every half hour during the day. And I try to remember to do it once or twice in between as well. Between 30 and 90 seconds and I’m good. And then I have to change position every two hours throughout the night. I’m starting to get used to it by now. -And I might actually get to step that down to every third or fourth hour soon. I sure hope so.”

His mom nodded.

With a short sigh, he let himself down onto the wheelchair cushion. “So, if you see me doing this a few times throughout the evening… It’s just something I have to do, try not to pay attention to it.”

“Sure, son…” Michael nodded.

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They had talked for half an hour when the front door opened and Aimee and Lila came running in, quickly followed by Chris and their mother.

The three kids ran to their grandparents as Nora carried some grocery bags towards the kitchen.

“You want me to help out with anything?”

“No… I’ve got this, Scott…” she winked, “I only left one bag by the door…”

“Then I’ll get that one…”

“You don’t have to…”she shrugged.

“No, but if I want to…?”

“I won’t stop you.” She chuckled, “I’ve been married to you for too long to try that…”

He grinned and wheeled over and got the last bag, before he brought it over to the kitchen area.

“Thank you. So, have you heard from Eva and Jenny?” Nora asked as she started preparing something.

“No… Nothing other than that they’re out playing volleyball.” Metal shrugged, “Why?”

“Just thought they’d be home by now, that’s all.”

He nodded slowly. Part of him wanted to call up his two oldest daughters and make sure everything was alright, the other part wanted to give his daughter the privacy teens hoped to have. He knew them both well enough to know they wouldn’t get in any trouble.

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Twenty minutes later, Eva and Jenny came walking up the street. Laughing and tossing a volleyball between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, yeah... I failed.   
> I kinda meant to finish writing this entire story before I started posting it. I'm 7,5k deep, and I just can't wait anymore. Had to post. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this so far.


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